Monday, 4 November 2013
How Violence Becomes Attractive
I find requests to be the hardest part of Nonviolent Commuication (NVC), and I really appreciate Marshall's clarity.
NVC teaches us that we can transform situations – including violent situations – by using language. The way we communicate can be transformative.
Marshall makes the point that we often make requests in terms of what we don't want, rather than what we want. He gives the example of trying to stop children from breaking windows. “How can we stop children from breaking windows? Kill them. Research has shown that dead children break no windows”.
Of course this is an extreme example, but there are loads of real-life examples to rival this.
When we think in terms of how to stop someone from doing something, violence becomes attractive.
Why do we want someone to do what we want - because of fear of violence, intimidation or punishment? Or because they want to, to meet their own needs as well as ours? What are our motives?
To read more about NVC, see: Transform Your Life with Nonviolent Communication.