Darian's Story

I cannot begin to imagine what it is like to lose a child through violence.  Gloria Clark shares her experience below.  

Plus go here for Gloria's very powerful poem, When Will the Killing End? 

Darian’s Story

When my youngest son, Darian, was shot and killed on the early morning of July 1, 2000, my world as I had known it was drastically and forever changed. I went in a very deep depression and decided that life was now much too difficult for me to deal with and this world was no longer a place I wanted to live in. When I left the emergency room of the Medical Center early that morning, as well as leaving my precious son’s body there, I also left as an entirely different person. My outlook on life was transformed to a person I did not want to be.

Prior to my son’s death, I considered myself to be the happy, religious, God-fearing person my parents had taught me to be, but I suddenly became an angry, desperate person looking for answers. I was confused because I never imagined the God that I knew would inflict such pain on me. He had deserted me and I was angry!! My thoughts were not healthy thoughts; they were not Christian thoughts. I left that place having little or no interest in living. I felt down and depressed and hopeless, and the list goes on.

The Sunday mornings that I used to spend in Church became the Sunday mornings that I would just lie in bed feeling sorry for myself and being angry at God. I asked him many questions, but never received an answer. God, why did you let this happen to my son? Why did you inflict such pain on this family? How do you expect me to get through another day without seeing my son’s face ever again? Why, why, why??

I have always had the support, of course, of my large, Christian family who were always there for moral and emotional support.

One day after my son’s funeral, while going through one of my many mental breakdowns, asking "Why me?", my nephew, Mike, without resentment and so matter-of-factly, just asked me one question. "Aunt Glo, why not you?”

Those few words made me stop and wonder and think about what he had asked me. Why not me? Who am I? Am I so very special that I cannot be touched by pain? If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it! My faith was being tested.

Shortly after Darian was laid to rest, he came to me in a dream, and I could see his handsome face so very clearly as he said to me, "Mom, I can't stay. I have to go back". I believe that those few words were the turning point of my realizing that he was at peace and that God had never forsaken me at all.

When I went to view my baby's body for the first time, I did not fall apart because it was Him holding me up. When I walked down that long isle at the Church services to bid a last goodbye to my son, I did not fall apart because it was Him holding me up. When at the grave site where my boy would be placed and I would never see him again, I did not fall apart because it was Him holding me up. The one set of footprints was never mine but His, holding me up.

My son’s daughter, who was only three years old at the time of his death, is now a professional woman with a baby boy of her own. I know he would be so proud of his baby girl. It is milestone moments like this that make me miss him the most, but God gave me a huge piece of him (my precious granddaughter) before taking him away from me, and my son will remain in my heart forever.

Rest in peace, my baby boy! I love you eternally!

Go here for more from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2022.  

3 Affirmations Successful People Repeat Every Day

I really like these affirmations.  I have not used them as yet, so I cannot attest to their efficacy.  But I'll be adding these to the affirmations I use regularly.  I recommend some changes, though.  See below. 

Go here for the affirmations. 

Here are my suggested changes:  

The second one is in future tense.  Affirmations should always be in the present tense, as if they are happening now, or, as I have recently discovered, in the past tense.  

It also uses a negative term.  Affirmations should always use positive words if possible.  So, instead of, for example, "I never", substitute "I always".  

As this article correctly states, "Success affirmations are helpful for changing what you believe at a subconscious level".  The unconscious mind is extremely powerful.  When we change our thoughts, feelings and emotions, we change our results.  We can change ANYTHING in our own lives by changing our minds.  For more about this, see:  How to Get the Results You Want.  

If you have used the above affirmations, what results have you had?  Please comment below.  

You can download my new ebook, Affirmations for Business, on Amazon.com or on Amazon.co.uk 

 And go here to download some FREE affirmations.  

Food Insecurity for University Students

One in 10 Students Are Using Food Banks

One in ten students are now using food banks, while a third are paying for food with their credit cards – racking up more debt.  Go here for an article about this.  They are suffering more now due to the cost of living crisis.  

 

If you want to avoid student debt, you can.  My ebook, Shaking the Money Tree, explains exactly how to do it, and includes step-by-step instructions.  Go here to download it now.  This book can save you thousands. 

 

Plus, did you know that the largest student debt accrued by a student in the UK is £189,000?  

 

You can avoid accruing student debt, starting today!  

Please share this with any young person and/or parent of a young person who wants to avoid student debt. 

  

The Power of Affirmations + Interview

I am proud to announce the launch of The Power of Affirmations BRAND NEW Second Edition! 

 

 

 

 

Go here for an interview with me about the book. 

Whether you are a complete novice or you have been using affirmations for years, The Power of Affirmations will help you to use affirmations effectively. 

 

Some of the topics The Power of Affirmations covers include:

• What Are Affirmations?
• Why Affirmations Don’t Work
• Why Affirmations Work
• How to Add Oomph to Your Affirmations.
• Dealing with the Brown, Smelly Stuff
• How to Achieve Fast Results
• How to Achieve Lasting Results

The Power of Affirmations  is part of a series of ebooks which includes Affirmations for Parents and, coming soon, the NEW ebook Affirmations for Business.  

Go here to buy it on Amazon.com 

Go here to buy it on Amazon.co.uk 

 

Do you know someone who wants to make positive changes to their life?  If so, please share this with them. 

 

Four Ways to Celebrate Christmas Day If You Are Forced to Self-Isolate

I have spent Christmas Day on my own a number of times over the years.  Sometimes, I hated it and felt sad, depressed and lonely.  Other years, I had a great time.  The fact that I am a Buddhist and don't celebrate Christmas doesn't seem to make a lot of difference - I still sometimes feel a desire to spend the holiday with friends and loved ones, and am haunted with the ghosts of Christmases past.  And anyway, this holiday is primarily an ancient celebration of the Winter Solstice, so I celebrate it in that context.  

 

This Christmas day, as in 2020, many people are still forced to self-isolate.  If you are one of the people self-isolating at Christmas (or any other time), missing friends, family and good cheer, check out my Coronavirus Resources for music, quizzes, relaxation, humour and more.  

 

Plus go here for an excellent article in the Guardian on four ways to make Christmas on your own more fun, relaxed and enjoyable.  Number four is by far my favourite.  

 

Follow Candace Bond-Theriault's lead and make a list of your favourite Black films, or whatever films you like. 

 

And there's this one from Oprah Daily:   How to Spend Christmas Alone and Still Make It Merry Without Family.  

 

And this excellent piece from Very Well Mind:  Here's How to Cope with holiday loneliness.

 

So there's a wealth of advice out there.  Plan, or don't.  Keep in touch, or take some time and space for yourself.  Prepare a feast for yourself if you want to.  Do what feels best to you and for you.  Place the emphasis on self-care.  The most important thing to remember is:  you are NOT alone.    

Happy holidays!  

What's your best suggestion for spending Christmas Day alone?  Please comment below and please share this with your networks.  Thanks!  

£189,000 in Student Debt

That's right, it's official, the largest student debt accrued by a student in the UK is £189,000.  Go here to read about it.  

 

Shoulda bought my book, that's all I can say about this.  

I feel terrible about the fact that so many students are left with huge amounts of debt - and this is happening on both sides of the Atlantic.  See also:  Millennials Will Die in Debt - a prediction from Dr. Boyce Watkins of the Black Financial Channel.  

 

I believe young people of today (of all racial and cultural backgrounds) are being robbed of their futures.  That is the main reason why I wrote Shaking the Money Tree.  

Ever since the maximum universities in the UK can charge was raised to £9,000 per year, students have been acquiring mountains of student debt, some of which will never be paid off.  Of course, this has long been the case in the U.S., where there is NO maximum tuition fee.    

 

Those who graduated in 2020 took out an average of £45,060 in student loans, but many of them ended up six figures in debt when you add in interest payments.  One student said that poorer students accrue the most debt.  Student debt has been called a "graduate tax".  

My ebook, Shaking the Money Tree, explains how you can raise money for your tuition.  Go here to download it now, If you are a student, or you have a student in your life, you need to download it now before the price goes up.  

See also:  FREE download, Avoid Student Debt.  

 

Did you avoid student debt?  If so, how did you do so?  Please comment below and please share. 

Review of Twin Flames Exposed

I usually review books about which I am wildly enthusiastic.  This one, not so much.

If you are suffering or struggling in a twin flames relationship, Twin Flames Exposed is NOT going to help you to get together with your twin flame, or help you to sort out your twin flames relationship. 

 

 

This book seeks to debunk some of the myths surrounding twin flames and twin flames relationships. 

 

Some common myths are, for example,

• in twin flames relationships, there is always a “runner” and a “chaser”;  
• you and your twin flame have to heal, or clear your karma in order to be together; and 
• you will recognise your twin flame as soon as you meet for the first time.

 

I have not bought into most of these myths, so they I did not need to have them debunked. The only one I was really interested in was the one about healing. Apparently, you don’t have to in order to unite with your twin flame.

 

One thing I found slightly confusing was that she puts one version of the myth in the table of contents and a different, opposite version when you get to the chapter. So, for example: 

 

Table of Contents: You Might Not Know When You Meet Your Twin Flame

Chapter heading: You will know without a doubt when you meet your twin flame 

 

Table of Contents: Twin Flames and Soul Mates Are Not the Same Thing

Chapter heading: Twin Flames and Soul Mates are different words for the same thing 

 

The chapters listed in the Table of Contents are stating the truth, according to the author. The chapter headings are called “limiting beliefs”, which actually helps. 

 

The book is printed in really big type and has just a few chapters, so it is a quick read. The final chapter is called “The Process”. However, she does not describe or reveal the process of uniting with your twin flame – you have to buy the next book, apparently called The Process, to get the information. Unfortunately, The Process does not appear to be available anywhere other than directly from the author – at a cost of hundreds of pounds.  

 

And anyway, you cannot unite with your twin flame, as you are already one - i.e., two halves of the same soul. I think that’s what she is saying. 

 

If you believe one or more of the myths about twin flame relationships, maybe you will find this book useful. 

 

Altogether, a very disappointing read.