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| Mum Looked the Other Way |
There
are SO MANY of these stories. And many more stories that don't make
the headlines, of children being neglected and abused.
An
incident starts with anger. The stepfather or stepmother gets
triggered by something. Probably something from her past, from her
own childhood.
It
might trigger a past incident of her being abused, experiencing
intense anger and violence from a parent or carer, or a time when she
was herself intensely angry or afraid.
Something
gets triggered and terrible, unthinkable and unbelievable things
happen as a result.
Then
we blame the abuser. He or she is “evil”, she or he is a
terrible person. We point the finger of blame. But it's this anger
and blame that are the root of the problem.
The
truth is we all have the capacity for violence within us. We are
born with it. It's part of our makeup and it's what helped us to
survive in ancient times.
But
these horrendous actions can be PREVENTED.
NVC
(Nonviolent Communication) is based on EMPATHY.
When
rage or fear is triggered in us or in others, we can process it
peacefully and safely by applying empathy. That way, everybody wins.
We
need to have the skills to practice NVC and there are plenty of
opportunities to learn and perfect these skills.
For
more about empathy, and how to develop empathetic skills, see:
NVC
Resources
Books
about NVC
Short
Films on the Basics of Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
See
also: Child Killed by Mother's Partner
