Thursday, 29 October 2020

Ceri and Zhana Discuss NVC

I am so glad Ceri Buckmaster is now a Certified Trainer in NVC (Nonviolent Communication).  She has supported me so much with issues in my life and also supported my practice of NVC.  Ceri has so many skills in terms of connecting with empathy towards ourselves and others.  So I was very interested in holding this conversation.  

Often, we don't want to contact, or communicate with, the parts of ourselves which are in pain or distress.  We also talked about our different conditioning as Black woman and a white woman, and how our feelings and needs are conditioned by race.   

If you want to learn more about NVC and cultivating self-empathy, have a listen.  

Go here for details about Ceri's next NVC Foundation Training.  

Go here for details about Ceri's Self-Empathy Training.  

Plus go here to listen to Ceri, other bloggers and myself read blogs from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence

This conversation was recorded about six weeks ago.  I also mention a forthcoming discussion of the representation of Black people/people of African heritage on British TV currently.  I have some serious questions about why there is so much programming about the Black experience on UK TV now, in the aftermath of the killing of George Floyd, which was watched all over the world.  (This is not just about the programming during October, which is Black History Month in the UK).  You can listen to this discussion here:  "What's Haunting YOU?".   

Please share this with your networks and please leave your comments below.  Thanks.  

Wednesday, 21 October 2020

Readings from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2020

Ceri Buckmaster
This year, we are doing something different - celebrating the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence by reading some of the blogs aloud.  I am very honoured to be joined by NVC Certified Trainer Ceri Buckmaster, poet and educator Carla Cherry and blogger and radio host Zelda Speaks in reading blog posts from this year and previous years. 

For each blog, I have included the link to the original post, except when it has not yet been published.   



Why I Am Committed to Nonviolence - Zhana - read by Zhana 

A Letter on the Anniversary of the Shooting of Cherry Groce - Ceri Buckmaster - read by Ceri Buckmaster 


For the Lovers - Carla Cherry - Read by Carla Cherry 


The readings are in two parts.  Go here to listen to these posts.  

A Little about NVC & Me - Zhana - read by Zhana 


I Never Knew I Was Violent - Zelda Speaks - read by Zelda Speaks 


You Are Never Going to Be Loved – Lady Blu - read by Zelda Speaks   


Teen Dies in Front of 50 Classmates - Zhana - read by Zelda Speaks 


 Go here to listen to these posts.  

Please share this with your networks and please leave your comments below.  Thanks.  


Go here for more from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2020.  





Friday, 16 October 2020

A Letter on the Anniversary of the Shooting of Cherry Groce

Cherry Groce
Cherry Groce was shot in the back by police in Brixton in 1985, and died some years later as a result of the shooting. 

I note that Ken Fero has said that the children of those shot by the police – like Cherry Groce – or who died in encounters with the police were left without any support, and the experience Lee Lawrence, the son of Cherry Groce, echoes this (see below). However, Ceri has written this letter to Mr. Lawrence to let him know that she does care, that people do care about him and his mother. 

Ceri also reflects on the parallels between the shooting of Ceri Groce and the killing of Breonna Taylor.   

Ceri Buckmaster 

Lee Lawrence
This project of letters is inspired by ‘My Dungeon Shook’, a letter written by James Baldwin in
1963 to his 15-year-old nephew on the One Hundredth Anniversary of Emancipation.

In the letter, James Baldwin writes to his nephew - also called James - about the times he is growing up in and the societal challenges younger James is facing. It’s a moving letter of love and encouragement to foster resilience and clearsightedness.

Taking this letter as a starting point, this project is an invitation to write a letter to someone, (a loved one, a colleague, a politician, a section of the community, an organisation, a business leader, a celebrity, an adversary, an opponent) on the anniversary of a historical event.

So, here is my letter to Lee Lawrence, on the 35 year anniversary of the shooting of his mother Cherry Groce in Brixton, South London (28th September 1985) and the six-month anniversary of the murder of Breonna Taylor in Louisville, Kentucky, U.S.


Dear Mr Lawrence,

I hope you are well, as well as you can be with all that is happening and all that you have had to deal with in your life.

I recently read the article about your life and your mother’s life in the Guardian. The same day I read that, I found out about the historical settlement of $12m dollars to the family of Breonna Taylor for her murder back in 13th March 2020. When I heard about the settlement, I wondered what it must have been like for you to hear all about the tragedy of Breonna murder on that terrible night in March through a ‘No-knock warrant’ raid. You must be reliving so much through each and every similar event that happens around the world.

I am grateful to hear more about your experience and there are so many things that stand out from the account I read. I was very sad to hear how no one at school asked you how you were coping with the stress of your mum being shot and how you didn’t have any support to integrate the trauma.

I really got how bewildering and hurtful it was that your mum’s story got so little airtime and exposure leading you to wonder why no one seemed to be interested. It’s like you were saying Say Her Name back in the late 80s and early 90s, way before hashtags and social media. I can only imagine the loneliness that no-one caring must have lead you into.

I’m struck by how many years you have plugged away to try to get justice and that when your mum sadly died in 2011 of kidney failure, the pathologist’s report that the kidney failure was linked to the shooting triggered an Inquest. Then in 2014, 29 years after the shooting, Southwark Coroner’s court found that the badly administered raid and the shooting contributed to your mum’s death. In 2016, the High Court ruled that the Met had a duty of care to you and your brothers and sisters.

I’m recounting this back to you to show I am listening and tracking all the twists and turns of the case. There are of course many more details and years and years of your life dedicated to honouring your mum’s life and trying to carve out a path for yourself.

I am inspired and very grateful that you have invested so much effort to create positive outcomes from this experience, such as the programme to support people who have been traumatised as a result of wrongful police actions, setting up the Cherry Groce foundation, working as a voluntary consultant for the police and engaging in a restorative process in order to be heard by the Met. But I hear the despair that the system is broken as there isn’t the will to fix it and you are still waiting for recommendations to be implemented.

What I’m hoping to achieve from this letter is to raise awareness of what you have been through, so that white people (like myself) in the UK don’t think that police violence is something that just happens in the US, that it is an unresolved blight in our country and there is much work to be done to change police attitudes and the white general public’s lack of care and attention, so that no family ever has to go through again what you have gone through.

With my very best wishes to you and your family.

Yours sincerely,

Ceri Buckmaster 

Go here for more about the shooting of Cherry Groce and the reaction from Lee Lawrence from the BBC

Go here for more from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2020.  

Please leave your comments below and please share this blog.  Thanks.  

Wednesday, 16 September 2020

Nonviolent Communication with Zelda Speaks

The "Zelda Speaks" show is one of the shows under the banner of "The Female Solution", i.e. Zelda is one of my "Sistas of the Microphone".  


I am delighted to share with you today the interview I did on her show yesterday, where we spoke about my books, Success Strategies for Black People and Affirmations for Parents, Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and more. Have a listen here


 Go here for more information about NVC.  

One of my most recent posts for The Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2020 is this one about Nevaeh Thomas, a little Black girl who was knocked unconscious in a racist attack.  

Please share this with your networks and please leave your comments below.  Thanks.  

Monday, 24 August 2020

Review of The Angel Experiment

One thing I really enjoyed about The Angel Experiment was that it came with 21 free audio downloads - one for each day.  In other words, pay for a book, get a 21-day course.      


After the usual info about angels, and a description of her first real-life encounter with angels, the author, Corin Grillo, gives us 21 ways to connect with different angels and Archangels, as well as some of the higher orders, including Cherbim and Seraphim.  

Grillo's writing is clear and accessible.  The free audios include a short invocation and short  guided meditation for each day.  Each chapter gives a way to address a specific area of life with angelic guidance.  Topics include, among others,
  • Releasing Worry, 
  • Releasing Grief, 
  • Harmony, 
  • Courage, and 
  • Playfulness. 
If you don't want to download the audios, the text for each is printed in the relevant chapter.  Each chapter also includes "downloads" - affirmations to help you change your life.  We are encouraged to take notes in a journal about our experiences at the end of each chapter, and to review these notes once the 21 days are completed.  So it really is like a course.  

One thing that did not work for me was Grillo's repeated use of terms like "God/Creator/Source".  Being a Buddhist, I do not believe in a "God/Creator/Source". The author states early on in the book that she is not religious - so why use religious terms?  However, if you relate to these terms, you may enjoy this. 
Another slightly strange note is when Grillo, towards the end of the book, asks the question, "based on your findings ... are angels real?".  Having asked and answered this question, sharing her experiences, at the beginning of the book, it seemed out of place and unnecessary to ask it again.  

I doubt whether someone who is convinced that angels don't exist will be interested in this book.  But if you want to strengthen, and gain clarity about, your connection with angels, I heartily recommend The Angel Experiment.  


Saturday, 8 August 2020

The Lions' Gate - Huge Shift TODAY, 8/8


These powerful healing energies are available to us for the next few days, so even if you miss the live channelling, you can still tap into the energies.  

I have only recently found out about the Lions' Gate.  I know very little about it, but it can provide a huge shift of energy.  Apparently, the Lions' Gate portal is open NOW.  Anything that can give us more power is something I am interested in, and I want to share this with you.  This film includes a channeled message from Archangel Metatron. 

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not making any profit from this.  I am sharing it because it is a point of power from which you may be able to benefit.  

Apparently, the Lions' Gate was known to the ancient Egyptians/Kemetians.  See also:   The 8-8 Lions Gate Portal Activation for a bit more background information.  

See also:  Aug 8th Huge Shift!  3 Things You NEED to Know About The Lions Gateway!!

Please share this with your networks and please leave your comments below.  Thanks. 




Thursday, 23 July 2020

How Positive Affirmations Change My Mindset on the Really Hard Mom Days

How Positive Affirmations Change My Mindset on the Really Hard Mom Days  

I really like this blog post because it shows how difficult parenting can be at times, and also shows how self-empathy dan help us to connect with others, including children.

I also like the way she used the affirmations, by attaching them to the bathroom mirror and saying them out loud 3x every time she saw them. I enjoy this creativity.

For more about empathy and NVC, see NVC Resources and Books about Nonviolence.

You can purchase my ebook, Affirmations for Parents, here on

Please share this with your networks and please leave your comments below. Thanks.