You Are Never Going to Be Loved - Surviving Domestic Violence

Arlene R. Major

“You are never going to be loved.”

“No one will ever want you.”

“You are used goods.”

“ If you don’t know how to please a man what good are you?”

I spent most of my life believing that all I had to do was keep others happy in order to be happy myself.

However, these statements only scratch the surface of what it is like to be in a domestic violence situation. 

I stood toe to toe with my abuser and said "swing".  I was tired and wanted out.  But it did not end there, because we would cross paths again and he would attempt to lure me back.  It was not until years later, my husband (then boyfriend - NOT my abuser) told me this:  "I love you, but you have got to decide if you want to remain a victim or you want victory over this".  I made a decision:  a decision to forgive those who hurt me and how I hurt myself. I journeyed through regaining the love I needed to have for myself in order for my life to move forward, and I have never looked back.

I just knew that after going through verbal, physical and mental abuse and surviving it, telling my story and sharing the hurt, the pain, the struggle and going through the rebuild that this was something that needed to be shared with others.

While many are beginning to share their stories of survival, perseverance, triumph and prevention through my radio show, blogs and annual conference, there are still many stories that go unheard, many voices lost in the darkness.

Everybody wants change and I’m still screaming, "Let us be the change we want to see!" This year is the fifth annual conference and I get amazed every time I put the words "50 Shades of Blue Baltimore" down because this is not just another yearly conference of sharing and caring, but an ongoing movement of enlightenment and power!  Being able to encourage men and women who have been abused and offer access to helpful and bountiful resource and see the community come out to support their own is what makes this something that I strive to do every year.

We are aiming this year to provide more abused men with preventative solutions, encourage our abused youth, young adults, men and women with hope for a brighter future all while showing them how to break the chains of an abusive history. We continue to ask for community support and donations to be able to provide vendors, music, food and fun! Your support is Key to helping us shed more light on a growing problem.

We can no longer be silent while others lose their family and friends to senseless violence. We have a right to be heard and a right to stand and say NO MORE! 

You can help make a difference.  Please share this with your networks and please leave your comments below.  Thanks.  

Go here for more from the Blogging Carnival for Nonviolence 2019. 

Arlene R Major aka Lady Blue

Founder, 50 Shades of Blue Baltimore

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