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Photo by Allen Taylor at Unsplash |
I was so happy to see this article, because it espouses a lot of the same values that we work from in Nonviolent Communication (NVC).
Many times, parents have told me that their teenagers are upset, and when I asked them, “What need does s/he have that’s not been met?”, the parent has said, “Nothing”. It amazes me sometimes that parents are so unaware of their teenagers’ needs.
When we are upset or angry, this means that one or more of our needs have not been met. The parent often has an agenda and is not taking the child’s needs into account. NVC tells us we have physical, emotional and social needs – a wide range of needs, some of which are not going to be met in certain situations.
Children may, sometimes, be a little easier to deal with when they are younger, but when they reach adolescence, they are starting to assert their independence, and parents can find this challenging.
Empathy is the basis of NVC, and empathy is more about listening than talking. If parents listen to their teens, rather than just talking to them, it’s possible that they can reach an agreement which will meet everyone’s needs.
Go here to read this article on 5 Simple Tips to Help You Have a Real Conversation with a Teen, then please post your responses below – how do you feel about this article? Does it reflect your experience as a teen, or as a parent?
Please share this with your networks.
Go here for some NVC resources, including my Kindle ebook Affirmations for Parents, which specifically describes how to use NVC with children and teens.
Go here for more from the BloggingCarnival for Nonviolence 2022.
